February 23, 2010
The Challenge:
This challenge is a request from a member of The Mindset Game. Assertive people are those that have the self-esteem to communicate their ideals with confidence. Issues caused by not being assertive most commonly arise at work but can also be an issue with family or friends. For this challenge, define one of your ideals that you feel strongly about. If someone is infringing on this ideal, find the courage to express your feelings without losing your temper.
This task is worth 50-points on your scorecards.
Thought Provoking Questions:
Did you find it difficult to maintain your composure?
Did you think through your wording before delivering them to others?
The Lesson:
When you find yourself being infringed upon it can be difficult because most people would rather sacrifice their own feelings than create a potential conflict. This can even mean you tolerant certain levels of cruelty rather than sticking up for yourself. The ultimate result of this continued stifling of emotion is usually a loss of temper. That is why it is important to address these concerns early and in an assertive manner.
So what is an assertive manner? It is standing up for your rights without going on the attack. It clearly informs others where you stand on an issue and it means communicating in a style that is not passive or aggressive but somewhat in the middle. The only way to know you are being assertive is based on how others respond. If they respond favorably to your request, it is likely a sign that you have succeeded. Keep in mind that it will take time to find your style of assertiveness, and often times it changes slightly depending on the recipient.
“The basic difference between being assertive and being aggressive is how our words and behavior affect the rights and well being of others.” - Sharon Anthony Bower
January 17, 2010
The Challenge:
As we grow older and gain more responsibility, our minds are thinking about the future further and further in advance. For example, a college student may be thinking week by week whereas a career professional is thinking 6-months in advance or more. This continuously extending outlook can make it difficult to be in the moment. When this happens, focus on one aspect (i.e. the sound of a heart beat) until you feel yourself come back into the here and now.
This task is worth 40-points on your scorecards.
Thought Provoking Questions:
What distracted you from enjoying the moment? Was it work, chores, etc.?
What did you focus on that helped to bring you back into the moment?
The Lesson:
There are many moments in life that we glaze over because we are focused on the “to-do” list or something that needs to happen in the future. Although it is good to have ambition, be sure to soak in the moments that are right here and now. What you will likely find is that it is easier to achieve your goals when you give your brain the chance to be calm.
To drive this point home, let’s say that you can run at top speed for a period of 15-minutes before you pass out. Your body will literally collapse. When we “run” our minds at top speed for too long, it too will collapse. We call this “exhaustion” or feeling “burned out” in which it feels like it takes a ton of effort to make any forward progress. This is precisely the time to live in the moment and give your brain a chance to stop and rejuvenate.
“Happiness is not a brilliant climax to years of grim struggle and anxiety. It is a long succession of little decisions simply to be happy in the moment.” - J. Donald Walters
January 09, 2010
The Challenge:
This weekend marks the first “birthday” of The MindSetGame.com! Looking back at this year, we’ve covered challenges that help us with four key areas necessary to achieve our dreams (discipline, direction, imagination and attitude.) With the right mindset and a little focus on these key areas, we can all achieve huge success. As a birthday treat, we should all take a moment to celebrate something in our lives with a reward to ourselves.
This task is worth 15-points on your scorecards.
Thought Provoking Questions:
What did you give yourself?
Do you make it a habit to give yourself rewards for achieving specific goals?
The Lesson:
When you achieve something, even if you feel it is small, you should always associate a reward to it. Celebrating your wins will give you satisfaction and motivation to keep going. If it’s a small goal, match the reward so you are not giving yourself a BIG reward for something that can be accomplished quickly. This approach will also help you break your larger goals into small ones so that you get to celebrate along the journey to achieve your dreams.
Have fun this week and enjoy your celebration. Also, if you have ideas for future challenges please send them in. Thank you all for your continued support and involvement!
“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” - Oprah Winfrey
November 15, 2009
The Challenge:
Now more than ever people are reevaluating what they want to achieve in their lives. In many cases, we are heading in new directions that will bring new challenges. It is during these times that we must be conscience of what we are telling ourselves internally. We have to be sure not to sabotage ourselves with internal conversations that keep us from taking risks. During this week, take notes on any internal thought or conversation you may have with yourself.
This task is worth 40-points on your scorecards.
Thought Provoking Questions:
How often are you having internal conversations with yourself? Is it often enough?
Are you giving yourself encouraging or discouraging thoughts?
The Lesson:
If you are about to embark on a new journey the last thing you need is your own mind telling you that you “cannot do it” or that you “won’t be successful.” These self-sabotaging thoughts lead to self-doubt which has the power to demoralize you and keep you from attaining your dreams. It takes time and commitment to discontinue these thoughts but consider this one of the most important traits to keep under control as it will directly effect your ability to be successful.
Secondly, we all need to understand that none of us are born with expertise in any given area. There is only one way to become knowledgeable about a subject and that is to start learning today. If your thoughts are saying, “you don’t know enough about that topic to be successful” remember that you merely have to start with one piece of information and just build from there. Buy books, use the internet, and network with established experts. Do what it takes so you feel confident in your new endeavor and surely your self-defeating thoughts will slowly fade into the background.
“Don’t let your mind sabotage your success” - Napoleon Hill